Yggies: Big heart in a small sapling
May 4, 2077
In the forests around Asgard and Jotunheim you might find a small sentient tree being known as an yggie (pronounced iggy). In fact, if you see one yggie, you’ll probably see a whole bunch. They tend to move in packs. A group of yggies is called a thicket. Ha! That makes me laugh. I know it’s supposed to refer to a hedge but, let’s face it, yggies are a little thick.
They have one purpose in life: to become a Life Tree like Yggdrasil, the great Ash whose roots and branches hold up the nine worlds of Norse legends.
The yggies have some work to do to achieve this lofty status, considering they generally stand about two feet tall. More of a bush than a tree, really, an yggie has dominate limbs that it uses like arms and tiny root balls for feet—so many feet that it sort of glides across the ground like a centipede. The rest of its body is covered in bristly, branch-like spikes. Mature yggies develop distinct facial features among these bristles.
In a twisted sort of mythology or religion, the yggies believe they can attain Life-Tree status through good deeds. Rack up enough karma points, and BAM!, your spirit can suddenly penetrate the veil between worlds.
Seems a little hinky. But I suppose it’s not much different than the Christian view of sainthood.
Unfortunately, the yggies roam in a packs that can reach great numbers, and so they become pests. In their driving need to do good deeds, they can trample each other to death. Innocent bystanders have been known to get caught in an yggie stampede too. Entire crops have been lost to a frenzied thicket.
My best advice is to steer clear of an yggie thicket, and never, never ask them for directions.
***Update November 18, 2081
Since I wrote this post four years ago, I have had another encounter with a thicket of yggies. Yes, they can be a nuisance, but the worst offenders are the very young yggies. As they mature from sprouts to saplings, they develop a greater sense of self and dignity. They may even go off alone, leaving the dubious safety of their thicket. I have witnessed one yggie perform a great and selfless deed. And yes, he was rewarded by becoming a tree that pierces the veil between worlds.
So perhaps there is some truth in sainthood too.
Comments (8)
They sound very much like creatures we call cactus cats, though I’ve never heard one speak. If you break off one of their arms, they leak enough milk to keep a man alive in the desert for a day. Tastes a bit like chicken.
SaguaroHero (May 5, 2077)
Where do you come up with these crazy-ass stories?
Potpie4U (May 5, 2077)
DO NOT COMPARE YOUR BLASPHEMES WITH THE STORIES OF CHRIST AS HIS DISCIPLES
his-word333 (May 5, 2077)
his-word333, STOP YELLING!
Iamnotarobot (May 5, 2077)
I’m glad you rediscovered this amazing creature. I think they get a bad rap. Like children with over-active imaginations and restless legs, they just need to have that energy refocused on a worthwhile activity.
ClassAct913 (November 18, 2081)
Yeah, let’s harness them to a wheel and generate some electricity—you know put them to use at something important instead of this twaddle.
CheeseSandwich4044 (November 18, 2081)
CheeseSandwich4044, feel free to scroll on by if you don’t like my twaddle.
Valkyrie367 (November 18, 2081)
CheeseSandwich4044, and don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.
Iamnotarobot (November 18, 2081)